New Mom Chronicles

20 month letter - My how things change

Dear Zoe,

I had an experience today that made me realize that you are quickly becoming more a little girl than a little baby.

A new property manager came by the house today, and he sat down with Daddy and me to do a meet-and-greet.  You were in the room, too, and you hung out for a minute or two to check the new guy out, but then were off playing on your own.  Quietly.  Entertaining yourself. With only the occasional "Hi-eeeeeeeee!" and frantic wave to make sure that each of us was, indeed, aware of your presence.

I remember doing the same thing myself as a kid.  Entertaining myself while the Big People had their Talking.  Um, which means probably that you're going to remember parts of these days that we are spending together.  Much like I remember my own childhood and my mom.  You will remember who I am/was right at this moment in my life.  It might seem obvious, but when it was just yesterday that all you could do was coo and kick your legs and smile...this seemed so far away.

Then, we were giving the new guy a tour, and you laid you head down on my shoulder while we were walking around.  This in itself is odd enough.  You're not a big leaner or cuddler.  (You much prefer hair twirling.)  But then, you - my sweet little baby - fell asleep on my shoulder.  I happened to pass by a mirror, and you're not so little anymore.  Your legs are hanging down to my mid-thighs, and your head is nearly hanging over my shoulder.  I held you like that for a long time.  It was precious.*

I am enjoying every moment of this stage in your life.  You talk more and more everyday.  A few days ago your daddy discovered that you can repeat the entire alphabet back to him.  You are starting to sing to yourself the songs that we see on the "Bounce" music class DVDs, and oh how you light up when I join in and sing them with you.  It's like you're thinking, "She knows!  She knows what I'm singing!"  You're saying phrases like, "I don't know," and "Ready, Set, Go!!!"  You are dancing more and more these days, and climbing is one of your favorite activities, although you are reasonably cautious most of the time.

I just started working a new job in the Mission, and this means that you're spending more time at Anna's.  For the most part you are handling the transition well, probably better than I am.  I miss you terribly when I'm gone all day.  But at the same time, I'm so happy that I have found a job that I love and that is fulfilling for me.  I think that it is incredibly important for you to see me have this.  I want you to know that you can have anything that you want in life, and that your job does not have to be something that is tedious or too stressful or contrary to your own beliefs and ways of being.

The point of telling you that is that, because I am gone more now, I get a Queen's welcoming every time I walk in the door either to Anna's or home.  You smile a huge, toothy grin, start your funny little half-laugh/half-breathless puffs, stomp your little feet, and come running over to me saying, "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMEEEEEE!"  This ends with the Leg Hug finale.  I love this more than you can ever know.  Almost as much as our "I love you"s before bedtime.  ;-)

 

You are a star.  Such a precious little beam of light and sparkles.

Aaaaah-eeee love you.
Mommy

*That was, until I accidentally dropped you into your crib and you started wailing.  Sorry about that!  I'm Mom of the Year!

Happy Birthday!

This past Friday, our little family took our first trip to the California Academy of Sciences.  We purchased a family membership as a birthday gift from my mom and I to Scotty (a.k.a. Husband).  It was crowded and insane (Fleet Week anyone??), but we still managed to have a good time even though we only ended up staying for an hour and a half.

The best part of it was watching Scott with Zoe - and hearing him talk about it to other people afterward.  These are the moments that he has dreamed of having with our son or daughter - and that I have dreamed of witnessing - even before we were anywhere close to having a little one of our own.  Science is such a blast for Scott, and he has been bursting at the seams waiting for some little angel to come along with whom he can share his excitement.  Now, she is here, and she is just starting to understand the world around her, and can appreciate special experiences like sitting under a glass tunnel filled with a bunch of different kinds of fish swimming all around her.

Honey, I have loved you from the moment that we met. Standing by your side through the last 7 years of exuberant partying, deepening commitment, and emerging parenthood has been an incredible blessing.  There is no better partner for me.  I'm so thankful for who you are, and I'm excited for the years to come.  May your excitement for life never wane, and your ability to persevere never falter.  Much love to you on your birthday, Scotty.

Songs we sing

One of the things that I am proud of most as a mother, is that I sing to Zoe all the time.  I don't use my musical talents all that often these days, aside from playing flute in the Symphony up north about 4 times a year.  Not that this exactly makes up for the tens of thousands of dollars my mom spent on a music eduction (Thanks mom!!!  I really had so much fun!!!  Oh, and, um, learned a whole lot!!!  Heh.), but I'm hoping that Zoe will appreciate it for years to come. 

Or at least until she's a preteen and everything I do becomes decidedly QUITE uncool.

Here is a song that we sing quite a lot.  I was recently working with a family whose baby is not even three weeks old.  Her momma was eating and taking a nap while I was wearing Baby Lilly in a sling and folding some laundry.  I decided to sing to her, and this is the song that came to me, without even realizing how apropos it is!  It made her hiccups disappear instantly, and I sang it again to her when she was trying to wake up but I wanted to give her mommy some more time.  It's a regular in our house for nap or bedtime...

Bewitched

This is an actual email conversation between my good friend/neighbor, Carlo, yesterday (expletives bl**ped for your virgin eyes):

Me: Hi, I hope you'll watch this.  It's a great, objective summary of Palin's experience, and what it would mean for our country should she be elected VP.  I watched most of it, but skipped through some of the middle part.  You'll see what I mean...http://blip.tv/file/1287551

*****
Carlo: I'm just about to watch it, thanks. I was at Aub's last night. One of his 12 roomies is from Wasilla, Alaska. Wow, that is one f****d up place! The amount of people who believe in witchcraft, there, is huge.

*****
Me: As I write this, I am leaning my elbows on "The Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of Witchcraft & Practical Magic."
I s**t you not.
Lol...

*****
Carlo: HAHAHAHAHA! I KNEW you were a witch! How else could you make taco night taste so damn good?!?!

People

Ok, so first... a gripe.

SOME PEOPLE!!  Why is it that whenever we have a lovely, warm sunny day - no matter what day of the week, no matter what season of the year - the person down at the end of the block with a maroon Cadillac thinks that the whole neighborhood wants to listen to their crappy hip-hop/rap/r&b with the bass turned up so loud that it rattles our windows??  What is that about?  Do they have no consideration for others?  Do they honestly think that we all love to hear their crappy music as much as they do?  Do they really have that much confidence in their musical tastes??? And another thing, how does he/she (it's different people) stand to be in the car with the music playing that loud?  Are they deaf?

I know.  I'm seventy-five.  This in combination with my love for Jeopardy over dinner and Sudoku before bed should qualify me for AARP.

Anywhoo, the real purpose of this post is to share something I put together to show off Zoe's people.  There is a pink dress wall-hanging with criss-cross ribbons on it which hold pictures that has been passed back and forth between me and Sherry over the past few years.  Most recently, I brought it home with me.  I started sifting through my vast library of photos to pick out some pics of our close family and friends so that I could hang it in Zoe's room and get her acquainted with their names now that she is talking, and since we don't see a lot of our family members because they live so far away.  The day before we left for our most recent vacay to Montana* I finally just printed what I had so far and put it up.  Here is how it turned out:

Cute, huh?  So far, she points out and says DeeDee, Shasha, Doggie, Daddy, Mommy, Papa, MeowMeow, and she's almost got Gigi.  This is not completely reliable, but each of these has happened plenty of times.  One time early on, she pointed out all three pics of Shasha and said her name each time, clear as day.  She hasn't seen her in almost six months!  We are still working on Grandma (first and foremost!!), Uncle John, Aunt Jess, Uncle Andrei, Aunt Sherry, Pop-pop, MaryLee, and Auntie Christina.

And now, I present the disclaimer:
I spent lots of time pouring over my thousands of photos trying to find pictures - and equal amounts of pictures - of the people that love Miss Zoe.  Finally, I had to stop and just put it up for her so that we didn't lose any more time.  If you do not see your picture, or enough pictures of you, or you don't like the picture(s) I'm using, help me out!  Send me one!  It just means that I ran out of time, or lost a photo that you sent to me.

*Our flights to and from Montana went swimmingly.  Zoe was a champion jet-setter, and we managed to fenagle a seat for her on every leg (2 each way) except for one, during which she slept anyway.  The only one that was a little touch and go was the last flight into SFO at 11pm. She had a hard time getting to sleep because she was so overtired (it was 9:30pm), and then was quite angry at us for waking her up at 11:30pm so that she could eat and drink on the descent to prevent her ears from hurting.  Zoe's Travel Toy Tote did come in handy on the way back to SF, and kept her busy for a full 2 hours plus!  Yahoo!

Leaving on a GAH!!!

Zoespeak:
Gah = anything that is not an animal and flies

Off we go!  Just had to share with you how much I love my baby...and my sanity:

This is her Travel Toy Tote.  I have wrapped all of her plane toys in tissue paper, for added excitement and entertainment (please oh please oh please).  Those notes to the side are my To Do lists.  Here's Zoe's pile on the dining room table:
I'm taking more shoes for her than I am for me.  Granted, this is the un-abridged version of her clothing.  I haven't made another pass through yet.  Also, what you can't see in this photo is the DVD player and 5 different DVDs - two of them are Teletubbies, so I think we're good to go.

See you when we get back!

Oh, hi!

Hellooooo there!  First, here's this:

Big sunglasses and a purple pacifier.  It's the new look for Fall!

Zoe's eighteen month birthday is coming up, and haven't you heard?  Eighteen months is the new two!  As in, terrible twos.  And boy howdy, is it ever!  We have a cornucopia of fun stuff going on in our home. Here are just a few...

• Screeching!
• Whining!
• Biting!
• Pinching!
• Oh, and let's not forget the hitting.
• Best of all?  Full blown, all out Tantrums with a capital T. 

The other day, for no apparent reason to us, Zoe ran into the study, threw herself on the floor, and starting screaming and flailing all of her body parts around on the floor.  Wow.  Husband and I just looked at each other, moved so that we were out of sight, and had a quiet little chuckle of amazement.  Then, of COURSE we went to see what all the fuss was about.  I can't even remember what it was.

This...this is hard work.  I reached the end of my rope the other day, emailed a trusted parenting coach for advice, and skimmed through my favorite parenting book.  I wrote up pretty little cards and taped them all over the house...on the bathroom mirror, on the wall in front of the toilet, on the back door.  Things like, "Give Zoe choices instead of demands," and "Tell her what you want, not what you don't want," and "Don't overhwelm Zoe with your power." These have been unbelievably helpful, and I think she and I are both handling this age a lot better now.

Eighteen months is right smack in the middle of the go-away-come-here age.  Or the push-pull age, as a friend recently coined it.  In addition to Zoe finding her way with her new independence - she walks well now, and is talking more and more each day - she's also at an age where separation anxiety is at its height.  Poor baby!  What a cruel twist of babyhood!  Add to all of that the fact that she's experiencing intense emotions and has nowhere to put them, and you have all of those things listed above.

I just hope I do well by her during the tough times.  Up until now, I have to say, I've had it pretty easy I think.  She's always been a good sleeper, a good eater, and pretty mellow all around.  She's still all of those things*, but with a willful and POWERFUL side coming through.  This one's going to give me a run for my money, I think.

In order to take better care of myself after having a little breakdown a few months ago, I started back seeing my life coach.  She's been wonderful, and I really feel so much better.  I'm going back to acupuncture as well, and I've been meditating each morning for 15 minutes.  That time in the morning has proved invaluable to me, and I thank my dear Husband for making sure that I get it.  I just spend some time grounding myself, thinking about what I want for myself and my family, who I want to be that day, and how I can accomplish that.  It has really turned many a morning completely around into a great day.

So, yes, Zoe's talking.  She says Hi, Bye, Doggie, Daddy, Mama, Mommy, Booboo, yish yash (splish splash - so cute), ish (shoe), Baby, up, down, on, off, cheese, all dooown (fall down), soeoeo (Zoe-oe-o), among a myriad of animal sounds.  She nods her head yes and no, waves, spins around, does downward dog yoga poses, dances until she falls down, kisses, hugs, makes a sad face and an excited face when asked, and says Hussssssh.  Oh, and she gets totally excited and says "GAH GAH" whenever she hears an airplane or helicopter.  Which is a lot around here.  UPDATED TO ADD: I can't believe I forgot to mention that she also says Carlo.  As in, Uncle Carlo next door.  That's new as of about a week ago.

She's getting more steady on her feet, running and climbing up stairs with relative ease.  Husband has found her on top of a chair and leaning onto the dining room table, and she can also climb the chairs out in the back yard.  She cannot, however, climb down anything.  This was the partial cause (along with my idiocy) for a nasty spill down 3 of our front stairs, after which we both cried.  I think it scared me more than it did her.  She ended up with a bit of a shiner and nothing else.  I ended up drinking down a bottle of Rescue Remedy (exaggerating - and it's a homeopathic remedy, not an alcoholic beverage) and a healthy dose of good old-fashioned, self-imposed Guilt.  God, what a horrible feeling.  Of course I could have prevented it had I not been MONUMENTALLY STUPID at that moment, but we live and learn.

Lesson #30,414:
She may follow you partway up the stairs, but she doesn't want you to come back down to pick her up and carry her the rest of the way. She would rather turn around and STEP INTO THE AIR.  STAY BEHIND YOUR TODDLER ON THE STAIRS, SHELBY!!!  GAH!!!!

I admit this to you because I think it's good medicine for me, and also good for other new mommas who might be reading this to see that moms - a doula for crying out loud!  a mother-of-the-earth type! - f**k up from time to time.  For those of you who are thinking, "How could she have done that??"  Well, I agree with you.  Now go judge someone else.  Go on, move along...

Anywhoo, we've been playing in the back yard more and more.  She's not so much into playing, per se, as she is into eating dirt:

and...

(Notice the cinder block.  We like to set up obstacle courses of Really Dangerous Stuff for her to navigate.  Haha!  Wow, I'm a model parent.  Yay for me!**)

But the immediate shove-dirt-in-mouth reflex is waning as we go out there more and more.  We had a heat wave last week, so it was great to be outside.  We went and visited our friends one day:

And playing in the pool was so much fun that I went and bought a pool for our backyard (on clearance for $15!!  A HUGE one!).  As if on cue, the fog promptly rolled in.  That very afternoon.  So we haven't used it yet, and may not get the opportunity until the Spring.  But we're looking forward to it!

Ok, that's all for now.  I best get myself off to bed.  We have a busy weekend ahead of us, visiting with our old roommie up in Sonoma on Saturday, and preparing for a trip to Montana for which we leave on Wednesday morning.  Wish us all luck, and kind fellow passengers on our flights!

*The eating has suffered a bit from the Eighteen month phenomenon, too.  She knows damn well what she likes (bananas, cheese, bread, bananas, chicken, cheese cheese, applesauce, and more cheese), and knows exactly what she doesn't like (anything green) and also knows that I can't make her eat anything she doesn't want to.  :)  I just stay calm, offer her a wide variety of foods, and trust that she's not going to starve herself.  Most days.  Other days I throw the still-full-of-food-that-I-spent-time-cooking baby dishes into the sink.  From across the room.

**The cinder blocks have since been moved to the very back of the yard, far away from Zoe's stomping grounds.

Friends

March 30, 2007
 
November 4th, 2007

March 31st, 2008

Today - July 9th, 2008

I think they like each other. :) from NewMom on Vimeo.

Ah, the 70's

Being the third child, there are not many mementos from my childhood.  No baby book, no overflowing photo albums, etc.  I accept this, and know that if we had 3 kids, the youngest would be in much the same situation as I.  My mom has moved several times since I was young, and each time a person moves the 'stuff' gets paired down slimmer and slimmer.  I didn't think that my mom really kept much of anything from when I was a baby...until I received a box in the mail a few weeks ago...

These were all my clothes when I was a little girl.  There will be more pictures to come.  It's supposed to get crazy warm here this week, and I have lots of cute little summer outfits to dress her up in!  Wee fun!

Practicing her Royal Wave

Mother's Day weekend was a blast!  Saturday, I met some girlfriends to get my nails done, and had a lovely yummy dinner at Catherine & Jason's house.  I was a little concerned about Zoe's schedule and sleeping, especially since I was going to be putting her down to sleep at Catherine's house.  I should've known it would all be fine.  She went down so easily, woke up for the car ride home, and then was quickly back to sleep in her crib.  Sunday morning I opened my flowers (accompanied by a lovely, heartfelt card from my DH) in bed, was made an amazing French toast breakfast, and then took a nap - which we all know is like sex, chocolate, and diamonds to a busy Momma!  That afternoon, we met a coworker of Husband's and his family at a campsite in Half Moon Bay, right on the beach for some afternoon grilling and kite flying!  This couple has a lovely daughter named Ella, and she had some SUPER neat toys!  One in particular was the Push Around Buggy. Wow.  Zoe cried in protest every time we had to take her out of it!

Her Daddy took her for a ride around the campground...

She waved the whole entire time.  And smiled and laughed.

Too adorable.  This is later on when we had to put her coat and warm hat on.  And the shoes.  Check out the shoes!!

I'm so lucky to be the mama of this sparkly little girl!

Coming soon: The First Birthday Video!  I can't wait to show you!!!